The one about dirty kids.

Dear Students,

I’m not quite sure when you think people stop having dirty minds and understanding innuendo, but it’s definitely not thirty. If anything, I understand more than you, and I often laugh to myself about accidentally dirty things students (or I) inadvertently say in class. I do hope that you had a good time in class today, but know that my mind is years ahead of yours in this department.

Like when I was taking guesses for what percentage of the population was bilingual, and you shouted out 69%. Yeah, I wrote it on the board – and I know exactly why you giggled. I didn’t giggle though. There’s nothing funny about mutual sexual pleasure, and I hope that you get to find that out one day. Though, ideally, not until you’ve had the dental dam/oral herpes conversation, and definitely not in my classroom. So, why are you bringing it up in class?

Oh, I know why. It’s because of your beavers – you know, the one aspect of Canada that you claim to relate to more than any other. I asked you to think about what Canada means to you, and you came up with (giggle) beaver? Alright, I can roll with this. I won’t even smirk. I grew up in a time when our city’s symbol was a beaver – I get the joke, and it’s an old one. Plus, beavers are vicious. They’re mean little things and have been known to attack when they’re disturbed. If that’s what you want…hey, there’s no judging in my classroom.

I’m glad that you’re maturing. I appreciate your new-found understanding of double entendres and I’m pleased that you’re having adult thoughts. But dudes, I get the jokes. I’m pretty sure that you don’t want to be talking about that stuff with me and I know that I don’t want to be talking about it with you. Save it for after class. It’s really not that hard.

And yes, that IS what she said.